Some asshole told me that this land used to be Mexico, and before that, something else. Come on, guy. I popped out of a vagina on this side of the river. Therefore, I have earned the right to keep you and your hungry children out. Stop ruining my zen vibes. For those that are humorless, please Bing 'sarcasm'. One of Carlin's great jokes, "They call it the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." I thought it would be hard to convince Wendy Patton to undress completely and walk around in the baking desert. But Wendy likes to prove me wrong. We have a peculiar relationship.

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